My Planned New Mexico Adventure

I'm taking a week off later this month. I put in the request at work quite a while ago, without any real idea of how I was going to spend it. I had considered driving up to San Francisco, but despite the fact it's been five years since I set foot in The City and I miss my remaining friends there terribly, the thought of actually going was a complete turn off. I don't want to return as a visitor, having been a resident for so long. It just wouldn't feel right. (Sentiments that are amazingly echoed by a coworker who lived in SF the same time I did.)

Not wanting to stick around town either (I did that last year, and it felt like I had no vacation at all), and with Anderson itchin' to get out on the open road, I was trying to come up with some alternative. Then it hit me: New Mexico! Many years ago, while still living in the City, I took a week off and drove down to Roswell. (I'd never been there, and it was shortly after the 50th anniversary of the supposed crash, so my curiosity had been piqued.) Roswell was fun—and not at all what I was expecting—but it was the rest of the state that blew me away with its beauty and some of the best Mexican food I've had evah. I was especially impressed with White Sands, vowing that I would return one day.

This time, it won't just be a quick jaunt to Roswell. I want to see more of the state than before. So my plan is to first enjoy a bit of Northern Arizona and head to Flagstaff to see the Lowell Observatory (yes, I am a geek), followed by a visit to Sunset Crater and then a stop at Meteor Crater. I'll cross over into New Mexico on I-40 and overnight in Gallup, and the next morning head to the Petroglyph National Monument and Albuquerque in time for a late lunch in Old Town. That afternoon I'll drive to Roswell and visit the UFO Museum. I'll overnight in Roswell and the next morning take one of the bus tours out to the crash site (something I didn't do last time). Or maybe I'll forgo that and just get back on the road and head to White Sands.

As I remember, that portion of the drive—through Carizozo and Alamagordo—is quite scenic with plenty of photographic opportunities presenting themselves along the way. I'll plan on a late lunch at hopefully the same great place I stopped at last time, and then spend a few hours at White Sands. I'll overnight in Deming, and then head to Tucson the following morning.

I'll should arrive in Tucson shortly after lunch, so I'll plan on having dinner and celebrating my birthday with the ex and friends there, and then head home.

Nothing is set in stone, so if anything interesting catches my eye along the way, detours may occur.

A Note to the Local ABC Affiliate

I think your "investigative journalists" need to go work for an organization where their talents can best be utilized. I was thinking perhaps the Weekly World News. I swear that if your stories don't involve sex, children or animals (hopefully all three, because you will have hit pay dirt that you can milk for days) it isn't news.

How about paying attention to the fact that Bush is thumbing his nose at the will of Congress and the American people? Or maybe that our civil liberties are being eroded on a daily basis in the name of the "war on terrah"?

That would be too hard, I know. It's much easier to take a hidden camera into an adult bookstore to film all those nasty ol' queers having sex under a screaming headling of "Protect your Family!"

And I know that reporting on actual NEWS that might question the edicts of Beloved Leader would be too much to ask, since it's obvious from simply WATCHING your programming that your network is nothing but a shill for the White House.

Quote of the Day

Seems to me the Repubs are in a bit of trouble. 70% of the country, give or take, is just bitterly opposed to everything the party has done for the last six years—but that other 30% are the people who are going to show up at primaries and pick a candidate. So the candidates have to play to the radical nut cases, which is great, because whichever old white guy wins, everything he says now while trying to appeal to the 30 percenters is going to be repeated over and over and over and over on YouTube and The Daily Show and all over the Internet during the actual campaign.

So go ahead, old white guys. Spin your fantasies about banning abortion, and science, and Muslims. Spew all the sewage you want about how we're going to bomb and shoot people until they agree to live in suburban houses with white picket fences and 2.4 children and an adorable dog, the way Godour God, the REAL onetended people to live. Tell us all about how you're going to roll the clock back to the Eisenhower administration. Every word along those lines that oozes out of your mouth is one more voter in the primary, and 100 less in the general election. It's music to our ears, over here on the left." LegalCat at Huffington Post

No Lesbian Sex in the Stacks, Please!

From Violet Blue, special to SF Gate:

It probably started out like any other serene, sunny, safely heterosexual day in the Bentonville Public Library. But the lives of some Bentonville, Ark., residents changed forever on that fateful day, after a wrong turn down the dark back alley of a card catalog led to a nefarious lesbian sex guide that would steal their innocence, stain them with the gay agenda and probably totally show them where the G-spot was. We can only begin to imagine the harrowing ordeal Earl Adams and his 14- and 16-year-old sons, Kyle and Ryan, went through after the boys discovered "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" — an ordeal fraught with anatomical drawings and lesbian relationship advice at the hands, nay, lubed fists, of local lesbian author Felice Newman. Unfortunately, it's an ordeal that resulted in the book's removal and a threatened lawsuit for obscenity.

Two weeks ago, "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" was removed from the Bentonville library shelves at the e-mail request of Earl Adams, after his sons allegedly had found the sex guide while browsing for "military academy" reading materials. It no doubt took the boys hours of page-turning trauma in the stacks to fully register their horror — and we can only guess that once they learned about female ejaculation, the damage was done.

Being a concerned father who would in no way want his adolescent sons exposed to any shred of accurate sex information outside of the abstinence curriculum in public schools, or examples of lesbianism that conflict with what his sons will later pay to see in strip clubs across town, Adams initially e-mailed a complaint to Library Director Cindy Suter. She responded by relocating the book to a less accessible spot, perhaps in the football-field-size NSFC (Not Safe for Christians) section.

But for Adams, the threat posed by the safer-sex sections in "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" evidently plagued him night and day. When he tucked his sons in at night, visions of happy lesbians with strap-ons danced in their heads, he was sure of it. Adams sent a deliciously retro letter and fax to Bentonville Mayor Bob McCaslin, threatening a lawsuit if the book were not removed, a book Adams said was "patently offensive and lacks any artistic, literary or scientific value" (neatly copying and pasting from the Wikipedia entry on the Miller test, minus the inconvenient "political value" part).

For some inexplicable reason, Adams could not stop thinking about the lesbian sex book and the deep personal tension it caused him — release, he knew, could only be found with total elimination of the book. Oh, and a $10,000 settlement per child, the maximum allowed under the Arkansas obscenity law.

Adams had stated in a previous complaint e-mail to McCaslin, "My sons were greatly disturbed by viewing this material and this matter has caused many sleepless nights in our house." After the Library Advisory Board voted unanimously April 3 to remove the book from circulation, Adams stated, "God was speaking to my heart that day and helped me find the words that proved successful in removing this book from the shelf."

One could argue that shelving "Whole Lesbian" in the West Point section could happen to anyone. Or that separating the sex and military shelves with a couple of copies of Boys' Life might give someone the wrong idea. And that anything that makes young men fantasize about lesbian sex is surely a threat to the very fabric of society. Of course, no one would know these things better than Felice Newman, author of "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book," co-founder of local, quarter-century-old, woman-run, human sexuality/gender studies/human rights publisher Cleis Press, and Bay Area resident. I got a minute to get her comments about the lawsuit and whether trading her handsome flattop for a flowery dress might get her book back in the good graces of Bentonville's heterosexual agenda.

Violet Blue: Did you know your book was in public libraries?

Felice Newman: Definitely. Library Journal recommended "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" for all collections. Many public and university libraries have ordered the book.

VB: How do you think it ended up in the military section? Don't ask, don't tell? Or is there a section on uniforms in the book?

FN: Perhaps the book ended up in the military section because the boys hid it there. Or perhaps, having found the book in its proper section, the boys were reading it in the military section, where they had told their father they would be researching military academies. Someone catches them smack in the middle of the fistf-ing chapter and they make up the story as an alibi.

VB: According to Adams, his two sons, ages 14 and 16, were "greatly disturbed" by their discovery and apparently underwent "many sleepless nights" as a result. Do you want to comment on these statements?

FN: I imagine they went through a change of bed linens as well. Do you think the court will award them damages for a nice set of military-themed boys' bedsheets from Wal-Mart?

VB: What could they have learned from the book? Safer-sex techniques for lesbians?

FN: The first five or so chapters are really a general guide to women's sexuality. So I hope I've helped those lads find their way around a vagina and clitoris and G-spot and anus and know what to do with them.

VB: Adams is also accusing you of "pushing an immoral social agenda" in your book. So what are the juicy highlights of that agenda? Can you pencil us in?

FN: Everyone should enjoy ample pleasure, frequent and copious orgasms. Every person should know how she or he best likes to get off and should be able to tell partners in great detail just how to make that happen. Everyone deserves to feel proud of his or her fantasy life. Every woman should experience my fist buried deep inside her … er … oh my, I'm getting carried away …

VB: What's your opinion on people leveraging religion to censor the content of public libraries?

FN: Libraries are meant to be free of censorship. Librarians are professionals who sift through book catalogs and reviews of the tens of thousands of books published each year. It's best left to them to figure out what will make a well-rounded collection that will serve the public. Well-rounded, by the way, means that there should be something to piss off just about everyone, and that includes you and me. So if the hysterical Christian right wants to write a book about their ideas, I say, fine. Let the good librarians shelve it in the open stacks. If you or I wish to write a rebuttal, they can shelve that, too.

VB: Library Director Cindy Suter stands by her decision to carry your book. Library Advisory Board member George Spence thinks it's "crude" and "ought to be replaced by something more clinical." What does the notion of making LGBT sexuality more clinical say to you?

FN: Well, for starters, I'm not sure what Spence means by clinical. Some people say my book is pretty clinical, in that it gives basic health info, etc. But if by "clinical" Spence means boringly technical, I can't see who is going to write it, let alone read it. Really, even if someone wrote a lesbian sex guide that read like a car manual, he'd still object to it, wouldn't he? ("Insert phallus-shaped object into the lowermost anterior bodily orifice …")

VB: Any other thoughts?

FN: Finally, here's what I think: If there was one teenaged lesbian or bisexual girl in America who didn't know there was a book about the sexual experiences she so desires, she knows now. Thank you, Fox News.

One Month. Still in Love.

It's hard to believe that an entire month has passed since Anderson came into my life. Except for that little tire incident a couple weeks ago, it's been smooth sailing and I'm still looking for excuses just to be motoring anywhere. With the current situation at work, some days the mere thought of getting in that car at 4:30 and driving is the only thing that gets me through the day.

A little surprisingly, the more I drive it, the happier I am that I opted for the 2006 model instead of the 2007. (I wasn't 100% sure at first.) I was thumbing through the 2007 brochure that I'd picked up when I started looking at Coopers the other night and what struck me so profoundly was how so much of the redesign just didn't look right. Yep. I definitely made the right choice.

It's still strange catching my reflection in a store window, or—more likely—in the tailgate of some behemoth 4×4 ahead of me at a stop light. After six and a half years in the Beetle, it had become such an integral part of my life and my image that it's a shock to see that new, silver and black bulldog reflection staring back at me…