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Apologies

It wasn’t my fault this time. I swear!

It turns out that the the company whose plugin I use for weekly backups was—in their words—”suffered unauthoriised access.”

Over the weekend of 17-18 October we identified unauthorized access to our website. Our team responded straight away and worked through the night to contain it. We closed the access route, signed out every account and replaced the keys and credentials that could have been affected.

What was accessed

We believe our customer database was accessed. It holds:

    • names, email addresses, billing addresses and order history

    • account passwords, stored only in hashed (scrambled) form and never in plain text

    • two-factor authentication settings

    • connection keys for UpdraftCentral, UpdraftVault and UpdraftClone

We never store full card numbers. Payments are handled by Stripe and PayPal. The UpdraftPlus plugin itself and its downloads were not affected.

What we have already done

    • Closed the access route and secured the website

    • Signed out every account and reset login security across the site

    • Disconnected every site from the vault and issued new credentials

    • Replaced every client key.

    • Rotated our keys with payment providers and other connected services

    • Started work on an emergency release that will automatically disconnect our old connections

What you need to do

    1. Change your account password. Type the name of the website directly into your browser rather than following a link.

    2. If you use the same password anywhere else, change it there too.

    3. If you use two-factor authentication with our website, reset it in My Account.

    4. Be cautious of unexpected emails that claim to be from us. We will never ask for your password or keys.

It appears that someone also installed a plugin of unknown origin remotely on my site. That’s been eliminated.

Let me know either in the comments here or email directly (link at right) if you run into any further issues.

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Let’s start today’s post off with a bang. Ladies and gents, I give you the winner of the Nobel Best Sign At No Kings Day Prize.

More than 3,000 No Kings events took place across the world yesterday, but this time the focus was different. 

No Kings Four wasn’t about crowd size. It was about getting out the vote — and voting early, where possible. We need to out-vote the shitheads, in numbers great enough that they can’t steal the midterms — because you know that they’re going to try like hell to pull some post-election fuckery. In fact, No Kings is already working on their next project — defending the vote.

Of course, there were crowds, in places such as Denver.

And Las Cruces, New Mexico.

In New York City.

And even in front of Donny’s beloved Epstein Reflecting Pool, which still seems to be completely fucked to hell.

But the people I really adore — and want to call out — are the individuals in the far-flung corners of the world who made it a point to let Dear Leader know how just how much he totally fucking sucks.

Exhibit A is this American visiting Scotland’s Isle of Skye, who took time out from her vacation to hold a one-woman protest.

“Add Isle of Skye, Scotland to the map of No Kings Protests! I can’t wait to vote early when I get home. I imagine the London action was bigger but at least we can say there were two protests in the UK! Indivisible Guide Indivisible Long Island #NoKings #BlueWave”

And then there’s this guy, who spends every No Kings Day camped out in front of the US embassy in Talinn, Estonia. Here he was, yesterday.

This homie fucking rules. he held the exact same one-person protest during No Kings Three last last March.

And here he is at the No Kings Two protest on October 18, 2025.

This is how much the entire world loathes you, Donny. Congratulations, you did that!

Oh, and when we say ‘no kings,’ we really have to make an exception for Carole King, who showed up to protest in Haley, Idaho.

Hey, do you know who can go fuck themselves all the way to Mars? The oligarchs and tech bros, that’s who. 

They’re terrified of We the People, and they’re doing everything they can to make sure our voices get buried. Yesterday, just as the No Kings protests were ramping up, Meta disabled No Kings’ Instagram account, knocking them completely offline.

“We have some breaking news, as we follow No Kings protests nationwide. A spokesperson for No Kings says the main accounts for the coalition on Instagram were frozen, and pulled down, and the administrators lost access to the peak of their national day of action. They say this happened at about 1:30pm eastern. MS NOW is out to Meta for comment. We have not heard back yet.”

Meta claimed that the whole thing was just a silly mistake, nobody’s fault, really, ha ha — but it still took them hours to restore the account. 

Oh, how convenient.

Meanwhile, at a hate-rally in who even gives a shit where, Mad King Donny once again fixated on his his latest obsession.

“And he came up and he was talking very nicely. And I stood right over here. And I examined his ass.”

It’s always something with this corroded old fucksnoot, isn’t it? Remember during the 2024 campaign cycle? Back then, in every single speech, Donny would lapse into some nonsensical reverie about boats and batteries and sharks and what would you do if you fell into the water, would you rather get electrocuted by the shark or eaten by the battery? There was never ever any context for this incoherent rambling, but there it was, in speech after speech.

No more. The boats and the sharks have been retired, replaced by Donny eternally examining Jon Husted’s ass. That must be one hell of a gluteus Jon’s packing back there. 

Way too much information, President Proctologist. Keep it to yourself.

I’ve got two heroes for you today. The first one is Jon Ossoff — because he’s so good at saying the things we’re all thinking.

“Now, maybe you saw Donald Trump was in Dalton yesterday, oblivious to the collapse of his presidency. A crowd smaller than this one endured two hours of senile babbling while the price of oil hit its five-month high.”

Ossoff excels at knowing exactly where to stick the knife. Back in the Oval Bordello, a ketchup bottle just got hurled against the wall, as Dear Leader hears himself get called senile, and has his crowd size made fun of. Boo fucking hoo, bro.

Our second hero is Abdul El-Sayed — because he’s so good at saying the things we wish we were smart enough to say.

Some MAGA chud named Tommy showed up at one of El-Sayed’s rallies, and was so cocksure of himself that he actually imagined he could disrupt the event by heckling. What happened instead was the Tommy the Chud got his rhetorical ass handed to him. El-Sayed took him apart, just by talking to him, one on one.

The entire clip is almost five minutes long. I’m only going to transcribe the first minute, but I implore you to listen to the whole thing.

El-Sayed: “You give me your name, I’ll answer the question.”

Tommy: “Okay, Tommy.”

El-Sayed: “Hi, Tommy. How are you?”

Tommy: “I’m great.”

El-Sayed: “Are you? Do you know what the Constitution of the United States is?”

Tommy: “I have one simple question. Will you disavow the Muslim Brotherhood?”

El-Sayed: “Yeah, sure, absolutely. But I want to ask to the question that you’re asking. Why are you asking the question?”

Tommy: “Well, because they’re a terrorist group.”

El-Sayed: “Okay. No, no, but what are you implying? Do you assume that I wouldn’t?”

Tommy: “Yes.”

El-Sayed: “Why not?”

Tommy: “Because I have not heard you disavow them yet.”

El-Sayed: “Have you disavowed them? I haven’t heard you disavow them yet.”

Tommy: “I disavow them.”

El-Sayed: “Do you? Great. But here’s the thing about it. You’re asking the question, because implicitly, you’ll assume that I have dual loyalties, right? Right? You assume that somehow I wouldn’t disavow, or that I’ll have some higher order, allegiance, than to the Constitution, correct? Tommy, isn’t that what you imply?”

Tommy: “Yes.”

El-Sayed: “Why would you think that about me?”

Tommy: “Because I have not yet heard you—”

El-Sayed: “No, no, no — why would you actually think that about me?”

That’s just the first minute. Please keep watching the entire clip. Spoiler alter: things don’t go too well for Tommy. He gets demolished. Not because El-Sayed insults him back, or makes fun of him, but simply because El-Sayed talks to him like a fellow human being.

And, in the end, Tommy the Chud books it the fuck out of there with his tail between his legs

this is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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I For One Welcome Our Robot Overlords 😆

And it pains me to say it.

I saw this today and it made me laugh out loud. We all apparently have our obsessions, don’t we?

Now bags aren’t my thing, so I immediately thought, I’d just change the text (easily done in Photoshop or Photocraft*) and be done with it. But then I thought to take it one step further: get AI to overlay my face on her’s. And then I thought, why stop there? If I’m going to get AI involved, why not go all the way?

HOW I DID IT

I took the original and verified that it too was AI generated by someone so I didn’t feel too guilty about what I was going to do.

I then fed it along with this photo into ChatGPT:

The prompt was “Convert the image so that it matches the style of the one immediately above it.”

I got this:

I then instructed it to replace the woman in the original image with the subject of this one and change the text from BAG to CD PLAYER.

After the result came back I wasn’t happy. “CD PLAYER” was too vague as it could mean either a portable or a home stereo deck. So then I told it to change the text to DISCMAN, and after seeing it in context the term seemed too specific, as Sony had used it only for the first few years of portables. (Yes, I’m a nerd, but knew that.)

I finally settled on the term CD WALKMAN which is the generally accepted way to refer to a Sony portable CD player from any era, and viola!

*BTW, I’m loving PhotoCraft.

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I think this one would work as a modern house with very minimal changes. What say you?

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