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Will It Blend? (Apologies To Those Old Infomercials)

Of course it will blend. If I’ve learned anything at all over the past nine months, anything will blend if you have the proper ratio of water to solid.

As mentioned before, the Taco Bell Enchirito was one of my favorites back in the day, and the Mexi-pizza was also right up there. Both are now lacking olives, (and where did that purple cabbage come from?) but I was still happy to see them back on the menu.

Unfortunately since I haven’t eaten anything since September last year, we didn’t have any black olives on hand (and I wasn’t going to run back out to buy any) or I would’ve added them myself.

But still, the smell—and the actual small amount of taste I can sense—was worth it all.

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This Is What A Real President Looks Like

hey, remember when the President of the United States wasn’t a malignant toad who gleefully shits all over the values we hold dear? this guy does.

“it’s why the exhibits here focus not just on policies, but on the shared values that make democracy possible. a belief in the intrinsic dignity and worth of all people, and that no one is above the law — or beneath its protection. a belief in checks and balances in our government, and an accountability that comes with it. an independent judiciary, and a robust free press. a belief that our military and law enforcement owe allegiance not to any president or political party, but to the people and our Constitution. a belief in the peaceful transfer of power after the people have spoken in fair and free elections. recognizing that in a large, complicated society like ours, no group or faction gets its way 100% of the time. and a belief that qualities of character — honesty, integrity, kindness, compassion, a sense of duty and honor — those things matter in our public dealings, just as they do in our private lives.”

that, of course, was Barack HUSSEIN Obama, speaking at yesterday’s opening of the Obama Presidential Center in Chicago. in the span of one minute and twenty-five seconds, Obama lays out all the things we’ve lost — and must regain — in the years since Little Donny Fuckface inflicted himself on us.

checks and balances. the peaceful transfer of power. kindness and compassion. remember that shit? the firehose of fuckery has been spraying nonstop into our faces for so long that it’s easy to forget that none of what we’re going through right now is normal. blatant corruption isn’t normal. incoherent foreign policy isn’t normal. masked government thugs on the streets of our cities isn’t normal.

thank you, Barack Obama, for reminding us of this.

no wonder the malignant toad in the Oval Bordello hates Obama.

Obama is everything Donny isn’t — and never will be. he’s smart, he’s articulate, he’s physically fit. he has class, he has style, he has dignity. he has the respect of his peers. he can speak in complete sentences, and finish a coherent thought. he has tangible accomplishments — and he has a wife who actually loves him, and isn’t some pedo-bestie hand-me-down.

oh yeah, and there’s also that whole Peace Prize thing.

Michelle Obama: “you were doing the people’s work. rescuing our economy. expanding healthcare. ending a war. ordering the bin Laden raid. saving the auto industry. winning a Peace Prize.”

that’s right, the real Peace Prize — the Nobel one, not that ginned-up trinket that FIFA fished out of some Cracker-Jack box and bestowed upon Dear Leader.

hey, did you catch the Email Lady’s joyous cackle at the 21-second mark in that clip? I think in that moment, Hillary laughs for all of us.

we definitely need to gif that shit.

here’s a pro tip for Donny: live your life in such a way that the whole world doesn’t piss itself with glee while recounting all your failings. oh wait, too late for you, pal.

Stephen Colbert was at the Obama Center — in a tan suit.

masterful troll, sir.

every living former president and first lady was in attendance.

you know who was conspicuous in his absence? that ginormous piss-baby back in the Oval Bordello, that’s who. he couldn’t make it to Chicago, because he was too busy being, well, a ginormous piss-baby.

at the same time Obama was being feted in Chicago, Donny was ostensibly participating in a Medal of Honor ceremony — but of course, the whiny fuck couldn’t go five entire seconds without making it all about himself.

“only a few have received our highest— military distinction, the Congressional— Medal of Honor. I wanted to give it to myself, but I was informed I couldn’t do it.”

shut the fuck up, Cadet Bone Spurs. I don’t think they give out medals for having a note from your doctor.

the nerve of this five-time draft dodger, imagining that he’s somehow deserving of our nation’s highest military honor.

for what, pray tell? for clownfucking our entire country into a humiliating surrender in Iran? I’m pretty sure they don’t give out medals for incompetence, either. maybe Donny’s friends at Four Seasons Total Foreign Policy Disasters can gin one up for him.

can you imagine Obama ever whining about how unfair it is to be denied an honor he hadn’t earned? of course you can’t. Obama has dignity, and isn’t a narcissistic valor-stealing shit-goblin.

now it’s time to pour one out for MAGA. they’re going through some things right now.

stuff a sock in it, racist. exactly how did Barack and Michelle Obama ‘divide America’? by presidenting and first-ladying while black?

seriously, I defy any one of these bigoted shit-kazoos to come up with an explanation of Obama’s supposed divisiveness that doesn’t boil down to ‘I got mad because a black man was president.’

grow the fuck up.

oh look, professional campaign-loser Joey Mannarino wants to contribute to the discourse.

boo fucking hoo, crybabies. munch on binkie

now check out this slice of prime dumbfuckery. the situation keeps getting worse over at Donny’s brand-new Epstein Reflecting Pool.

remember all that hydrogen peroxide they dumped into the pool a couple days ago, to deal with the algae problem? you’ll never guess what all that peroxide did: it dissolved all that brand-new blue paint and sent it to the surface in huge sheets.

look at this shit.

but wait, the clownfuckery gets even more clownfuckier. the incompetents that Donny hired to fix the algae problem were cronies of Donny’s, and they got a $1.7 million no-bid contract, because of course they did. that’s on top of the $14 million no-bid contract that some other crony of Donny’s got for doing that shitty blue paint job in the first place. and not one of these dumbfucks ever stopped to ask ‘why are we dumping paint-stripper into a freshly painted pool?’

shitty timelines don’t get shitty all by themselves. they need a corrupt and incompetent Dear Leader to give them a little nudge in the right direction.

it’s just one more thing for the next president’s Secretary of Unfucking All That Shit to deal with.

his is going to be my closing message for the foreseeable future:

practice self-care. do what you need to do to keep sane. if that means you need to disengage with my daily posts for a while, I get it. this community of ours will still be here when you return.

to all the people who have signed on in the days since the election, welcome aboard. settle in as we all try to deal with the shitfuckery that’s ahead of us.

we are all in this together, and we are all here for each other.

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From Tumblr…

Honestly, I was immersed in my porn, earbuds in, spit-slicked dick in hand. So I didn’t hear the guy enter the stall to my left. But the sound of fapping my cock must have been louder than I thought — not that I give a shit about being caught. Apparently my curious neighbor was getting turned on because I saw his knees and not-so-subtle hard dick coming in hot under the wall. Struck me as coincidental that he’d positioned his boner just under a random, dried up cum splatter — maybe his from a prior stop? I dunno…

In response to this unexpected offer, I sat my phone down and dropped to my knees to get a closer look. What can I say, I’m a hands-on kinda guy. I wiped my fingers over the head of my dripping cock and gently tickled the frenulum of his penis with my own precum. I felt him shudder, and that instant and unmistakable reaction told me that I’d discovered his kryptonite. He was mine now, and I had very specific ideas about the direction of our play.

After toying with him a few minutes, I relocated my fingertips to his balls and put my mouth on his dickhead. I heard him catch his breath as I devoured his shaft and caressed him with my tongue. But my prize was still unattended, so I shifted my hand against his fuzzy taint and began maneuvering toward his hole where a surprise awaited me. As I circled his pucker it felt wet and swollen. Hmm…maybe I’m not the first to arrive at this party destination. As I probed it became clear that he wouldn’t require as much encouragement to receive me as I had first thought. At the realization that I’d soon be fucking into another guy’s load, I almost ejaculated then and there. But I have some self control — even in my extremely horned up state.

No need to rush these things. Not sure about my new buddy, but I had all afternoon. So I played with his sloppy ass — one finger, two, three fingers — as I chewed on his hard cock.

“Come over,” he said, as he unlocked the door. Though reticent to come off his cock, I nonetheless shuffled over to his place, pants around my ankles, only to discover looking up at me the cute new guy who’d just moved a few doors down on my dorm hall. “I’ve sorta been following you, but didn’t expect this…”, he trailed off. I could see lust written all over his face as I shoved my dick toward him.

This guy could give a masterclass in cocksucking. Starting with the droplet leaking from my swollen head, he worked his tongue around and down my shaft as his tugged at my heavy nuts. I watched as he took inch by inch of my rigidity down his throat, tightening and relaxing as I began to pump.

“F-u-c-k,” is all I could manage to utter while he focused all his skills on my throbbing cock. That could have been sufficient for any dude in my shoes. But I was in charge here, I heard my innervoice suggest. Goals and all that…So I started to pull out of his warm mouth as I set my sights on another target.

“Turn around,” and he obeyed and pulled apart his asscheeks to showcase that sweet hole that I’d been finger-fucking.

Damn, he was sloppy. And like a starving man who licks his plate clean, I mashed my face into his backside and proceeded to lap at it. The musky man smell from his sweaty balls was intoxicating. At this point, I had no need to stroke my cock, now bobbing between my legs. Once his bath was complete, I returned to my feet and began to circle his fuck hole with my fuck pole.

“Push it in. I want to feel you inside,” he said as if I needed the encouragement. I passed thru that portal and kept driving until my entire 8 inches disappeared into his depths. And it became apparent to me that I was now enjoying my fuckbuddy’s FINEST skills. I watched mesmerized as he rhythmically pushed back on me, and pulled off until just my head was hidden from view.

“Damn,” I uttered repeatedly as he used me for his own pleasure. It wasn’t long before I felt a surge through my core and knew I was nearing climax.

I wasn’t the only who noticed. Although he slowed his pace, we both knew it was futile. The flood erupted as I drained a 5-day load into his guts. I nearly lost my balance as I blew and had to grab both walls to stay upright. As the euphoria abated, he pulled away from me and turned to begin licking me clean while I stood there immobile.

Once he was done, he looked into my eyes and told me that he’d be available for all the fucks I wanted. I smiled involuntarily, nodded in mute agreement, and realized that this was going to be an amazing semester.

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I Gave It A Second Chance

It’s been three weeks since I saw Backrooms, leaving the theater disappointed and to be honest, somewhat angry.

Since I first saw it, I’ve seen several reviews of the film, and I think I may have been too hasty in my summary judgment and dismissal. I approached it expecting to see all the internet lore faithfully rendered on the big screen, instead of just viewing it as a standalone film.

That being said, today was my one day this week when I didn’t have to attend to anything medical (such is my life these days) and I had a $5 off coupon from Fandango from my last ticket purchase, so I thought what the hell…give it another shot from this new perspective.

And you know what? I enjoyed it quite a bit this time. And I actually missed many of easter egg nods to fans of the online lore on my first viewing. As a standalone story, it really isn’t bad at all, and why the monster is what it is in this film and not the “bacteria” from the video series makes sense.  And I wouldn’t mind finding out what happens to Mary (Renate Reinsve)—or her still life, for that matter—ASYNC, and Phil (Mark Duplass) in a future sequel.

 

 

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Evening Listening And My Initial Thoughts On The Sennheiser HD600s

I Who Have Nothing and Take Me To Heaven: the first two songs I put through the new Sennheisers at angelic volume. Keeping in mind that these need a week or so to “break in” and it may change, as of right now I’m very happy with the purchase. They sound great right out of the box, and if anything, they’ve unabashedly revealed the differences between my CD players. Surprisingly, the oldest players I own, the D-10 and the D-15 (1988 and 89 respectively) sound significantly better than my newest, the D-EJ915 (1999/2000) and D-EJ100 (2004) but honestly, that may just be my imagination playing tricks.

They’re also high impedance and therefore power-hungry. On the older players I barely had to turn the volume control above it’s lowest setting to get decently loud with my other ‘phones; now I have to turn it about 1/4 of the way up. On the newer players with digital volume controls, I have to crank it to 3/4 of the way to max to get the same sound level.

On my main system, they’re

Comfort-wise, so far so good. The pads are big enough that they fit completely over my ears and the pressure on my glasses is minimal. We’ll see how that plays out as time goes by.

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My Favorite Headphones, Even Though I Still Can’t Wear Them For Extended Periods

WARNING: AUDIO GEEK STUFF AHEAD

I’ve been somewhat of a headphone nerd since forever. I remember getting my first pair (Pioneer SE-30s) as a Christmas gift from my folks when I was a sophomore in high school and so it began. I only remember this exact timing because that was the year I first got into stereo equipment. They were heavy, bulky, and crushed my head, but oh, wasn’t it a glorious thing to be able to listen to my music without disturbing the rest of the family!

The next set I purchased myself from LaBelle’s several years later. This was the Stax SR-44 electret system. It’s a system because it consisted of the headphones (or earspeakers as Stax is fond of calling them) themselves, which connected to an auxiliary box which then connected to the speaker jacks on the back of your receiver or amplifier. The difference in sound was like night and day between the Stax and the Pioneers and I was smitten immediately. Unfortunately, the earspeakers had very poor strain relief on the cords, and the wiring at that junction would peridically break and I’d be forced with some very fiddly soldering required repairs.  After ten years or this nonsense, I finally gave up and tossed them in my car’s trunk to take to donation and completely forgot about them. Wouldn’t you know the car was broken into (street parking in San Francisco) and they disappeared along with everything else in the trunk.

I went without for a few years after that, finally replacing them with a pair of Sony “DJ” headphones that I kept until the faux leather on the earpads started disintegrating. I had no idea at the time these could be replaced, so they got tossed shortly before we moved to Denver in 2011.

I replaced the Stax SR-44 with a used system maybe five years ago and was surprisingly far less enthused than I was when I bought my initial pair back in 1978. Plus the cord that plugged into the auxiliary box was on the short side meaning I had to sit close to the amplifier (not practical) and yada, yada, yada. You get the idea. I still have them, but they haven’t been connected to anything in years.

I’d heard good things about Grado, so the SR60s were my next experiment in private listening. Everyopne said that the Grado sound was distinct and not to everyone’s liking, so I picked them up from Amazon, figuring I could easily return them if I didn’t like them. It turns out that I loved the sound, but after a nearly a year of daily use, the foam pads became so irritating that I couldn’t stand to have them on my ears for more than a few minutes.

I tried all of the online suggestions to alleviate the irritation problem (apparently I’m not alone) as well as buying the each variation of the earpads themselves that Grado sold. None of them were satisfactory. It was unfortunate because of all the headphones I’ve owned, I really liked the sound of the Grados the most. The cable, however, is another matter entirely, but I’m not going to get into that.

I finally gave up and got a pair of the Sony MDR-7506s a year ago, because I’d had a very good experience with Sony headphones in the past—earpad disintegration notwithstanding. In case you’re wondering, I also have a pair of wireless Airpods Pro that I use with my laptop and phone and they sound fantastic, but vintage CD/MD players don’t have Bluetooth connectivity so I need a wired solution.

Anyhow, the Sonys were like a breath of fresh air. They fit on my head well and didn’t irritate my ears at all—at least for the next year or so.  The only downside is that—unlike the reviewer above—when I wear glasses they get pressed uncomfortably against my temples. But eventually, they too reached the point I couldn’t stand to have them on for more than a few minutes at a time, with or without glasses. I put both the Sonys and the Grados away, and after trying several different brands from Amazon, I finally settled on some relatively inexpensive Vibes 202 IEMs that surprised me by how good they sounded. They don’t sit on my ears at all, which alleviates the entire problem of the irritation.

Out of curiosity I pulled both the Sonys and the Grados out of storage a couple weeks ago, hoping that the time away would allow my ears to tolerate one or the other again when I slipped them on. Sadly, even after buying a differentset of replacement ear pads (this time soft leather) for the Grados, I could wear them for extended periods. but the pads themselves affected the sound and all of a sudden everything was muddy.

Ugh.

So I tried the Sonys again. They were now beginning to suffer the infamous breakdown of the faux leather earpads so I ordered a replacement set. Let me say, between the Sonys and the Grados, I can tolerate the Sonys far longer. It’s still not ideal, but I can usually make it through a couple CDs now before having to rip them off my head.

I bit the bullet ordered the famous Sennheiser HD600s. and I’m awaiting their arrival. Hopefully they will sound as good as the universal praise lavished on them  justifies, will fit my head comfortably, and most importantly—not irritate my ears so I can go back to extended periods “plugged in.”

But if not…I can always send them back. I’ll let you know how it goes.

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