The Stupid, It Burns

I watch a lot of home improvement shows, and believe me, I’ve seen a lot of stupid things, but this has to take the cake.

On Raise the Roof the contractor/host/actor/model/waiter was remodeling a study as part of the project and for some reason left the owner’s couch in the room and then built a wall with a doorway too small to get it out. Yes. Seriously. And the idiot didn’t even realize it until it was time to refinish the floors.

Their solution?

Yes. They hung it from the ceiling. OMFG. What are the owners going to do when they decide to move out, or just buy new furniture?

And then there was this

And what the fuck

If I didn’t know better I’d think this was an episode of First Time Flippers…

Red Hot to Asshole in 30 Seconds

Once upon a time I thought this guy (who I used to follow on Instagram) was hot. Very hot. Then I came across a post where he went off about how he’s straight and put them up there “for the ladies” but goddamnit! his pictures were “stolen” and now showing up on gay sites, and people are assuming that he’s gay.

And it’s just not fair!

Let me explain this, since obviously you sir, are an idiot. Once you put something on the internet, it can—and will—go everywhere. If you originally post sexy pictures of yourself on Instagram (or wherever), they will be shared and eventually find their way into the hands of gay men who for the most part don’t give a shit about whether you’re gay or straight in real life but will nonetheless fantasize about doing hundreds of unspeakable, mutually pleasurable things with you based on those photos—and will then pass said photos on ad infinatum. Deal with it, and consider yourself lucky that people find you attractive at all considering how—despite your good looks—what an awful, insecure person your childish rant has revealed you to be.

And frankly, with all your whining, “The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.”

I Call Bullshit

So apparently now if you’re a gay man and not sexually attracted to [black, brown, yellow, white…you fill in the blank] men, you’re a racist.

Give me a fucking break.

To pull a line from one of the great gay films of the 80s, Parting Glances, “I mean, your dick knows what it likes. You reach puberty, you don’t fucking decide what you like. You ask your dick. You say, ‘Hey, Dick, what do you like?’ and you go for it.”

Listen…during my many years of adult life on this planet, I’ve slept with pretty much every color of the rainbow. Admittedly it was sometimes out of curiosity (since until that time I hadn’t done it), and other times because the particular individual wanted me, but let’s face it: we all have our particular kinks, preferences, and fetishes, and I’ll be damned if going to be judged for it by some politically correct asshole.

And using this same type of reasoning the obvious question arises, are we sexist because we’re gay and not sexually attracted to women?



Sorry for the lack of real posts lately. I just haven’t been feeling inspired. Between the shit show that is DC and the return of my regularly scheduled 4 am insomnia (a time when I should probably haul myself out of bed and write instead of just tossing and turning until I finally fall asleep fifteen minutes before my alarm goes off), I just can’t, y’know?

Add to that I was voluntold for a little project at work last week. On one hand it’s a nice change from the day-to-day drudgery of my job, but it’s forced me to work with two techs—while pleasant and easy to work with—simply do not possess the depth of knowledge or motivation I thought they did. You don’t know how to highlight an entire line in Excel? Seriously?

We’ve been pulled off our regular duties to finish up the stragglers of the PC refresh project that was actually started more than a year before I started work here. I have assumed the de facto lead role on this because it seems I’m the only one who has the logical mindset and desire to do the paperwork involved in getting all this equipment rolled out before June 1st.

Initially we were told there were about 180 outstanding devices. That number dropped to about half that when it was clarified that we would only be doing the central locations—four sites in downtown Phoenix. The number dropped even further when I took it upon myself to look up all the PCs and laptops on the master list and determined that probably thirty percent or so had either already been refreshed (and never updated in inventory) or sent to surplus for recycling.

I understand why my supervisor selected me; she said she’d gotten so much positive feedback from the customers on the computers I’ve been rolling out by myself over the past six months I was a logical choice. (My site is totally finished.) But the other two? They’re the secondary techs at the sites with the greatest number of unrefreshed machines.