Red Hot to Asshole in 30 Seconds

Once upon a time I thought this guy (who I used to follow on Instagram) was hot. Very hot. Then I came across a post where he went off about how he’s straight and put them up there “for the ladies” but goddamnit! his pictures were “stolen” and now showing up on gay sites, and people are assuming that he’s gay.

And it’s just not fair!

Let me explain this, since obviously you sir, are an idiot. Once you put something on the internet, it can—and will—go everywhere. If you originally post sexy pictures of yourself on Instagram (or wherever), they will be shared and eventually find their way into the hands of gay men who for the most part don’t give a shit about whether you’re gay or straight in real life but will nonetheless fantasize about doing hundreds of unspeakable, mutually pleasurable things with you based on those photos—and will then pass said photos on ad infinatum. Deal with it, and consider yourself lucky that people find you attractive at all considering how—despite your good looks—what an awful, insecure person your childish rant has revealed you to be.

And frankly, with all your whining, “The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.”

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