Can you see me smiling?
If the original factory warranty has expired on your car and you don't have an extended warranty, run—do not walk—to your insurance company and get mechanical breakdown coverage if it's offered.
Seriously.
It turns out it wasn't a simple repair on the car. It wasn't a broken linkage and it wasn't a blown slave cylinder. It was the entire effing clutch. But thanks to Geico and a little foresight on my part, what would have been a $1300 expense cost me only $250. Granted, it's money I still didn't need to spend, but two fifty is a hell of a lot better than the alternative.
Inspection also uncovered a small leak in a power steering hose and that the front bushings need replacement. Both are also covered under the policy (albeit with a $250 deductible for each) and while they shouldn't be ignored, neither one was something that had to be repaired before moving to Denver. Of course the shop also came up with another list of routine maintenance items that total around $1500, but those can be done piecemeal as funds allow.
Interestingly (or not) enough, Anderson is actually driving much better. The amount of resistance I'm feeling in the pedal is about what it was when I first noticed the problem the other day, but it's definitely working now, and shifting is so much smoother than previously. In fact, the amount of force required to depress the pedal previously was not normal. Go figure.
The shop told me there was .9mm left on the clutch plate; 1.0mm being the spec for replacement. So yeah, I was overdue.
Now I know that with my particular driving style a MINI Cooper clutch will last approximately 60,000 miles.