Category: Are You Fucking Serious?

Posted on

"Beware the Homosexual Agenda"

Did we all just get sent back to the 1990s?

This Neolithic mindset may play well with the 10-11% of the population who are the Republican base, but everyone else has moved on.

New Texas GOP Platform Declares Homosexuality "Abnormal Lifestyle Choice"

It also opposes "all efforts to validate transgender identity," and supports "Reintegrative Therapy" to eliminate "unwanted same-sex attraction."

By Mary Pappenfuss | Jun 19, 2022

In a giant step into the dark ages, the newly adopted platform of the Texas Republican Party now officially declares that homosexuality is an "abnormal choice."

The shocking platform, voted on by 5,100 delegates and alternates Saturday at the party's biennial convention in Houston, also affirms Texas Republicans' opposition to "all efforts to validate transgender identity" ― and calls for a ban on any gender-affirming medical care, including hormone therapy, for anyone under the age of 21.

Yet the platform supports debunked and dangerous conversion therapy — which it terms "Reintegrative Therapy" — to turn members of the LGBTQ community into heterosexuals and eliminate "unwanted same-sex attraction."

The platform spells out other positions explicitly opposed to the LGBTQ community under its section on "Homosexuality and Gender Issues." It opposes offering any special protections for members of the LGBTQ community, and renounces penalties for those who discriminate against the community.

Delegates at the convention were peppered with flyers attacking the LGBTQ community, including one warning: "Beware of the Homosexual Agenda."

[more…if you can stomach it]

And once again I say we just dig a 5-mile wide moat around the Texas border and say "Buh-Bye!"

Posted on

Hey Monica…

…how about we have a little peek in your nightstand?

Posted on

I'm So Tired Of Dealing With Assholes

So in their infinite wisdom, the I.T. Powers-That-Be decided that all the techs need to get fingerprinted and pass an FBI background check in the unlikely event that any one of us may be called upon to cover for the usual tech who supports our Enforcement building. Or something. Because reasons.

No big deal. I've done this before and there's nothing in my background to raise any red flags.

My coworker (the one who I wrote about earlier who randomly gives me attitude when he apparently gets up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning) and I were both scheduled to get fingerprinted at the same time at the same location. It seemed stupid for us to take two cars there, so I asked if I could catch a ride with him.

You'd think I asked for a goddamn kidney.

"Well, I was going to go by myself…"

So you can disappear for hours off-campus the way you do when you're on-campus?

I told him it didn't make any sense for us to take two cars if we were going to the same place at the same time.

He reluctantly agreed to let me ride with him.

The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. The next morning I sent him an email that simply said, "I've decided to take my own car. Thanks anyway."

His response: "Are you sure?"

Really? Really?

Yes, I'm sure. I should never have asked you in the first place, motherfucker.

There were four of us (the other two were from different sites) scheduled at the same time. Said coworker was the next to last to arrive because he hadn't bothered to read the email to know where to park. Yet he was the one who pushed his way to the head of the line when they started calling us back.

When I was finished with all the bullshit—and since I was driving my own car—I decided to take a short detour on the way back to the office and stop at my local coffee shop to grab an extra-large Tuxedo mocha before returning to work. Because reasons. Fuck it.

Posted on

D'oh!

It's only taken four decades for the light to come on, but it finally did.

It was on the occasion of my 19th birthday, and several of the friends from Tucson I'd made since coming out at the start of my second semester away at school made the trek up to Phoenix to help me celebrate.

As I was now of drinking age and could finally legally go out to the pubs, the biggest question was where to go?

The decision was unanimous—and it was to become my favorite watering hole/dance-my-ass-off venue for the next two years. It was a cavernous place on the east side of 16th Street, tucked up against the canal just south of Indian School Road that went by various names as it kept reinventing itself (or changing owners). That first night—and for probably a year or so thereafter, I believe it was going by the name Moon's Truck. Then one night out of nowhere I arrived at the door to see it had became HisCo. Disco. (The order of those names could be reversed. Cut me some slack; it's been nearly four decades!) All I know is that anyone who'd been going there for any length of time simply referred to it as Maggie's and regardless of what the sign on the outside of the building said, that's what we called it.

Anyhow, one of the great mysteries of my life had always been that name: Moon's Truck. Never made a lick of sense to me or anyone else. Whereas The Connection (which became my preferred place to pick up men in the early 80s) had an actual Mac Truck parked within the building, Maggie's had no such claim. And Moon? What was that all about?

Well today, while going down the Internet rabbit hole and trying to find something—anything—about the place, it finally dawned on me:

Moon's Truck = Moonstruck

I can be so dense sometimes.

And I still couldn't find a thing.

Posted on

The Stupid, It Burns

I watch a lot of home improvement shows, and believe me, I've seen a lot of stupid things, but this has to take the cake.

On Raise the Roof the contractor/host/actor/model/waiter was remodeling a study as part of the project and for some reason left the owner's couch in the room and then built a wall with a doorway too small to get it out. Yes. Seriously. And the idiot didn't even realize it until it was time to refinish the floors.

Their solution?

Yes. They hung it from the ceiling. OMFG. What are the owners going to do when they decide to move out, or just buy new furniture?

And then there was this…

And what the fuck…

If I didn't know better I'd think this was an episode of First Time Flippers…

Posted on

And Of Course…

…right on cue, the petulant, cheeto-faced man-child set to assume the Presidency in 11 days had a 3 am meltdown on Twitter over Meryl's speech last night.

In the hours after after Hair Furor disgorged his early-morning missive, the army of his sycophants chimed in, led by the always death-warmed-over Kellyanne Conway, a.k.a. das Backpfeifengesicht, who appeared on Faux News to ask if Meryl was so concerned about the disabled why she didn't mention the mentally-challenged boy who was tortured on Facebook during her speech.

The lack of self-awareness displayed by Trump supporters complaining that celebrities like Meryl should stay out of politics when they elected a reality TV star with no political background is just fucking deafening.

More than anything, it punctuates the shitgibbon's lack of self-esteem. And again I have to ask, if this man is so thin-skinned that he will obsess about anyone who doesn't bow down and kiss his tiny-handed ring by spewing out insults via Twitter, how is he going to react to a real crisis?

I don't even want to think about it.

I believe what's at the root of this insecurity is Trump knowing in his heart of hearts that he will never be loved or admired by people in a way that Meryl (or Obama, or any number of others he's lashed out at) are—and it's drives him crazy. Hell, he and his administration are actually shaping up to be the most resoundingly hated group of people ever to assume power in this country, and that's a stink that he won't ever be able to wash off no matter how many rim jobs he gets from his Nazi followers.

 

Posted on

"It Just Works!"

No it doesn't, Apple. NO. IT. FUCKING. DOESN'T.

I got the bright idea to do some desk cleaning last night, and I ran across three file folders worth of pictures, floor plans, and miscellaneous documents that I wanted to scan. My plan was to do that first thing this morning and then move on to normal my Saturday chores.

So much for those plans.

It has been a day of Apple/Adobe/Canon ROBO-PSYCHOSIS.

I knew that Photoshop had supposedly lost the ability to use a TWAIN scanner driver somewhere between CS6 and the first iteration of CC. (Even with CS6 it required a bit of finagling to get working, but by and large it worked fine.)

I haven't thought much about it since the arrival of CC, since all the scanning I've had to do since that time has been document or line-drawing based. Not exactly rocket science. Apple's own built-in image capture worked fine for that.

So when I went to scan some magazine photos today, imagine my horror when they came out looking like crap. Apple's built-in software has no ability to "de-screen," so everything came out with horrible Moire patterns and no way to get rid of them. FUCK ME SIDEWAYS IN TRAFFIC.

So after doing some Googling, I discovered that there is a fix for even the latest version of Photoshop CC: a TWAIN driver supplied by Adobe themselves! Downloaded, installed where it was supposed to be and…Photoshop immediately crashed when invoking scanning directly from our Canon printer.

GODDAMNIT!

Further Googling suggested a clean reinstall of the printer/scanner drivers. But Apple, being Apple, doesn't provide ANY mechanism for actually removing old printer drivers. (Just making them disappear from the Scanners and Printers preferences list doesn't actually delete any files, so you're left having to go digging all over the hard drive to to rip them out.)

Well, apparently I deleted something I shouldn't have, because even after reinstallation, not only did TWAIN still cause Photoshop to immediately crash—the scanner option itself was only showing up in the printer configuration when it was physically connected to the laptop via USB—not while it was wireless.

I wasted a good three hours this morning trying to fix this and finally said fuck it and wiped the hard drive, knowing full well that this time I couldn't just grab my Time Machine to do a full restore; the files had already changed on the latest capture. I could restore my profile, but all my applications would have to be manually reloaded and I was now looking at spending the entire day at this desk and not getting much of anything else accomplished.

THIS IS THE EXACT REASON I GAVE UP ON WINDOWS; THIS SORT OF ROBO-PSYCHOTIC-FUCK-YOUR-ENTIRE-DAY BULLSHIT!

And you know what? When all was said and done and I finally got everything loaded from scratch—the fucking TWAIN still didn't work with Photoshop. Oh yeah, it worked with Canon's own proprietary scanning software—a piece of psychedelic-colored crap that looks like it was designed by a six-year old.

And unfortunately, that is what I'm stuck using if I want to get decent scans from magazine or newspaper photos.

At least the scanning option is once again showing on both the wireless and USB versions of the printer, and I have a "clean" install of everything else on my Mac now. BUT GODDAMNIT ALL TO HELL, Apple. THIS is NOT supposed to be how APPLE works!