Shower Thoughts

If you have filled up your house with shit to the point where you need a storage unit for the rest of your shit then you probably own too much shit.

Shower Thoughts

It’s Sunday morning, and last night someone (probably hundreds of someones) had a first date with someone else. They don’t know it yet, but they have met the one they will fall in love with, marry and raise a family. They have met the one they will stay with till “death do they part.” But they don’t know this yet. It was just a first date.

Shower Thoughts

In this “Age of Information,” you’d think there’d be a lot less stupid people. But it seems access to the Internet and humanity’s amassed knowledge is just allowing them to broadcast their stupidity from the rooftops.

Shower Thoughts

Because I’m so lazy, I work as hard and as fast as I can at work just so I can be lazy for as long as possible everyday.

Shower Thoughts

Equifax’s hackers weren’t the first to steal my info; Equifax itself took it without my permission a long time ago.

Shower Thoughts

Washing machines should have a reservoir tank where I can pour in a whole jug of detergent and have it automatically dispense the correct amount for every load—and then automatically flush the whole system of old detergent if it’s below a certain level in the tank when it does a self-clean cycle.

Because ‘murika!

A large portion of the population is about to have permanent eye damage.

If the last two years have taught me anything, it’s that a huge portion of the United States population is dumber than a box of rocks, and will do something contrary to what they’re told, especially if the person telling them is actually someone who knows what they’re talking about.