Category: Retro Realness

"Lady, I don't care who you are, but I am not your Uber, so get the fuck out of my car!"

"Wow, mom, I didn't think you'd be able to fit Timmy in there…at least not in one piece!"

"I'd sooner go to a bukakke party hosted by the Trump brothers.

And go suck on a mint, will ya? Your breath smells like a rotting corpse!"

Mrs. Bommer adjusted her housedress and smiled as she thought, "I don't even care if Dale sees the wet spot on the couch!" as Jimmy hurried back to his bike.

"Hurry up, Frank! He's almost in to the elbow!"

Everyone was so much happier once Frank had the crew build those steps on the inside of the construction fence.

"Mmm…medical grade. That will make it easy to wash all the blood down the drain."

Joe hated it when Bob's wife came home early and he had to bolt out the back door and scramble over the fence.

"Abort landing! Repeat, abort landing! The giant is loose and on the flight deck and doing a fan dance!"

"Thanks, Joe. I really needed that. And, um…you've got a little spot there on your chin…"

"No, go ahead…guess! Which one is the same length as my dick?"